Report #1:

Dear whichever HR manager this may concern,

I'm emailing for a complaint about the workplace.

Can you please issue a meeting or discussion with Jeremy? He has been stealing food often, and I really have been wanting to enjoy the food my partner makes for me.

I trust your judgement in this scenario, and I trust that you will judge this case fairly.

—Jane Fickleberry

RESPONDED BY HR MANAGER: P. H:

We are aware of the issue and it has already been dealt with.